Yesterday I got back from my trip to TURKEY!!! It was amazing, the bright weather, the people  and the atmosphere. The people were extremely nice, totally different from the Turks from Germany. The people’s faces where so bright, so SUNNY, NICE. They were so open hearted, everyone was always Greeting. Sometimes, I was afraid to be unpolite by saying anything hahah.

For several reasons I have to stop singing lessons for a month. I started taking singing lessons with many positive feelings and was very happy to be able to take this lessons. After a short time I noticed the postive results and started focusing on learning and improving as fast and much as posible. This throughts seemed to cause me too much pressure, I was thinking to much that was why I couldn’t relax and became fraught.

This mindset caused me  a voice damage. It’s not just hard to sing, it’s also hard to speak. I get weak when I start using my voice. For the next few weeks I’ll have to stop singing and let my voice recover. After this I’ll probably change my teacher and let everything happen more slowly.

Next week I have 3 times vocal lessons one after another. I’m amazingly happy about this but I’m also excited because we are going to record the stuff for the audition.

I appreciate that god gave me such a passion. Otherwise how would I be able to survive.

As an early Child I’ve had really hard times but somehow I didn’t noticed, everything was so depressing. Everyone saw that I was going crazy, I cried so much because of so many misunderstandings.
I was a looner, had no friends, people used to fool with me like toy. People where I thought that I was close to them didn’t took me seriously. Even my parents didn’t noticed how serious the situation was. I had to wait for so long to get out of this mess. Being nice and innocent gave me so much pain.
After those years, I changed the school and at the same time my personality too. I already noticed that I was being too nice to people, I was angry to myself for being so foolish. I tried to be strong, my personality became to one of a boy. I tried to protect myself and my only friends. I didn’t hide it, everyone was able to see my anger. People started to leave me alone, teachers started to like me because of my protective personality. And now? I’m tired, I’m tired of protecting people and protecting myself. I don’t care about others. I don’t care what they do or who they are.

You are wondering why I’m talking about this. Its because all the time, I had something in my heart, that helped me to be strong and happy. The thing in my heart, no one can take it out. The only thing that fills my heart is music. For me music is not a addiction nor a hobby, it’s in my blood, its my life, “music breathes with me” ~ GDragon. I seriously don’t think that I’m able to live without music.

I hope that God has plans for me. Pray, Pray for me and help me to get picked in this audition. I would give more than my best to make them satisfied, I would train so hard at the same time I would be happiest girl in this World.