Somethings has gotten strange to me. Im living against my will, that means Im doing often things I dont want to. It isn’t easy for me to live this way but I necessarily want to change a lot things in my life, to open up myself, laugh,learn ,met new people, listen to my heart not to others. And I think that’s a usefull strategie to open up myself. Im probably angry to myself. Its like how I said so, Its strange. Everything is mixed because I couldn’t sort my feelings, I coulnd’t leave the past behind me. At the momemt, Im often thinking about my age, about everthing happened and Im doing. Its quite evident that Im thinking to much about this all. But the actuall thing is that I fear to get older and I ever did, because everything is happening so fast. I fear to regret for wasted time and chances or for things I did wrong. Sounds like I would try to be perfect, but I dont. Im only trying to controll myself, to leave this througts behind me, but I cant. Everytime I thought that I would have reach this, I noticed that I was just repressing my feelings.

Well lets change the Topic. Last Weekend I tinged my hair with red. Gosh! I looked so horrible, yesterday I was hoping to get the tinged color out of my hair and washed them over 5 times. And I was felt better as I noticed that my hair looked more brightly. Now I have to run around like a spring chicken, but well I think next time I’ll upload a picture soon.

Keep yours eyes open ;).

Picture : Ayumi Hamasaki / Ready Go, August